I spent all night coveting jawlines the jokes on you it had nothing to do With your blank stares or your greasy hair I saw right through You saw me too too tired too hungry too sweaty too nauseous too god damn confused In the bathroom you told me you're drunk but you're sober with nothing to prove So I spent all night wondering why I don't feel right around you my sweat builds like dew And I can't think straight walk right or say your name I guess I'm through Get away from me dude Cause when your collarbone tugs on your skin so tight I don't know how you can move But I'll cut out my organs I'll break ribs bend circuits till I look like you

last time I saw you without your shirt you weren't so tattooed and your shoulders gold I wonder if the piercings hurt and why I still don't feel like I'm 22 years old I don't want a birthday cake there's nothing to celebrate you said "Nick, don't be this way. Rhododendron bloom every May."

I can't get you off you're like soap on my skin and the ropes they're taught the knots will not come undone again the worst year of my life but I'm alive get in the car you're gonna learn to drive this weather doesn't feel like october it feels like march and I'm lying naked in the yard

I've got more plastic grocery bags than I've got friends and I'm wondering if it's worth keeping up with them in kitchen cabinets between car seats they keep me up at night I'd rather be asleep I'm tired of eating all this fast food you looked at me you said "do something about it" I can't explain the things I do we were drinking beer out of bottles with fancy labels I wrote a poem down on your kitchen table it said "I will partition my brain to make sure it thinks the right way about you and your eyes, I swear I'm gonna try. I will partition my brain to make sure it thinks the right way about you and your eyes." I can't relax but I'm not sick and doing drugs just makes it worse I think I'd really rather not feel like this but when we were drinking beer out of bottles with fancy labels I wrote a poem down on your kitchen table it said "I will partition my brain to make sure it thinks the right way about you and your eyes, I swear I'm gonna try. I will partition my brain to make sure it thinks the right way about you and your eyes." I'm in the parking lot of Boone Mall completely alone listening to your songs in my car I'm trying to equate your name with things I hate but I like the chords that make the keyboard quake the holes in your sweatshirt the feelings I felt back in march (stealing drinks sitting on bars) the way you whispered in my ear when the band was just playing a little too loud I'd like if you gave me some space I'm sorry I'm like this I swear that I'd change if I could so please don't whisper in my ear my mind doesn't think the way that it should.